Big Rock Candy Mountain

That's a whole lot of booties on that cover. I love Bounce.

Anyways Antigravity Magazine asked us to write a synopsis of our recent tour from day to day and made it their feature article. It's pretty much the other blog posts but shortened and sweetened up. Since it's only downloadable as a PDF I'm just gonna repost it here.

"It's quite long." (Name that quote)

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Big Rock Candy Mountain is either a mean-pop or nice-metal band from right here in New Orleans. In mid-January they embarked on a west coast tour, and while less dedicated bands might have cancelled amidst the fanfare swallowing this city, they soldiered on. We asked them to journal their travels for us and being the nice guys they are (though not too nice), they happily obliged. Thanks, guys!

Day 1, New Orleans. We had a great send-off at One Eyed Jacks. Despite the weather and the playoff crowds, our New Orleans friends showed up en masse to support us and MyNameIsJohnMichael. There’s nothing like playing One Eyed Jacks. It’s a fucking beautiful club (and honestly one of our favorites); it always sounds amazing here and you get a lot of free booze. What a great kickoff show.

Day 2, New orleans. Wow, this is great. Out of air in the tires. Out of coolant. The hood won’t open. We woke up really late. Yeah, we haven’t even left NOLA yet. Austin had better be awesome.

Day 2, Austin. After driving all day, we show up in beautiful, clean Austin (where I, Michael, was born and raised). My mother graciously stuffed us with food, and then we set off to the house where we would be partying. We showed up, set up and then went and grabbed the keg.
It was amazing how people started crawling out of the woodwork once the keg arrived. We hung out for a bit, then killed the lights and proceeded to rock out. We played a great long set, were pretty finished. Then the audience demanded an encore, which we obliged. Then, Stephen put on his superhero cape and turned into Supertronatron, the Mashup Monster. People danced and the DJ set segued to band jam with some fellow friends and Austin musicians. We finally wrapped it up around 2:30 and got home around 4 am. We went straight to bed, only to get up shortly thereafter at 6 am and hop in the car to start driving to Las Cruces. But before we get ahead of ourselves, let me tell you a little bit about driving through west Texas. THERE IS NOTHING HERE! WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH THIS PLACE!?!?!?! For real. There is NOTHING here. It’s exactly what you’ve heard about.

Day 3, New Mexico. Last night was ridiculous. Packed in a small house full of crazy people. It was fun. Oh yeah: Paul is definitely sick. What an asshole. We just played a show in Las Cruces, New Mexico to what you could call a “slim crowd.” That means nobody. But we were fed, sold a few CDs and got gas money from the venue. Jazmin, the booking agent for Equinox, was super-nice and really dug the music. That is always encouraging and a good morale booster.

Day 4, L.A. It’s raining. Great. I can tell for certain, wherever Big Rock Candy Mountain goes, rain is sure to follow. It seems like the shit has been on our boot-heels ever since we left New Orleans. IT JUST DOESN’T STOP!!!! ARGHHH! Rain was definitely there to greet us as soon as we entered California. From Coachella to Los Angeles, it has been raining on and off for the past two days. There is nothing scarier than driving through the state’s highway dealing with people who don’t know how to drive through rain, especially when the rain causes chunks of the cliffs to break off and splatter all over the highway. Le sigh. We show up at this club called the Mint and this dude is like “Hey, Justin Timberlake is here,” and we’re like “Oh, ha ha...” and then we start backing our truck to load in and JUSTIN TIMBERLAKE helps us back it in. It was pretty much, “Hey guys can you back in here?” and we were like “Oh... ha ha... Wait, that was Justin Timberlake.” Woo. Anyway, we were supposed to have a forty-five-minute set, but “JT” managed to push us back so that we only had twenty minutes. It’s okay. We’re still feeling the effects of when he reminded us about Sexy. P.S. $4 PBRs!? In a can!? What the hell, Los Angeles... give the broke musicians a break!

Day 5, Lancaster, CA. We’re staying at Nicole from Sideways Media’s place. She’s sweet. She loves metal. We broke some stuff at earlier shows so we had to buy replacement gear and other stupid stuff. Saw Colin Farrell at Sam Ash. I’m assuming he was drunk. It’s still raining in “Sunny California” and all we’ve seen on the news is “MUDSLIDES! EVERYBODY PANIC!”
Another “slim” show. It was pretty fun, though. We were driving back home through the mountains and—“DUDE TURN THERE’S A ROCK IN THE ROAD!” Seriously. This thing was big, like size-of-a-V8-engine big. Immediately later there is a line of at least eight cars and trucks with smashed fronts, who must have hit that thing. We almost had our first literal show-stopper.

Day 6, L.A. Laundry day! By the way, it’s still raining. Ugh... Jersey Shore is funny; we should all move there, seriously. Our industry showcase was so good that everyone threw up. Then it was on to hang out in L.A with our gracious host Nicole Poulos (with Sideways Media). We journeyed to the Rainbow Bar and Grill hangout of famous ’80s rockers and got pizza and beer. John Belushi had his last drink there; Pamela and Tommy had certain “escapades” there. We saw a guy get punched in the face and carried out in a stretcher. We also met some guys who were working on a “History of Metal” documentary for VH1. Andrew almost peed his pants and we shot the shit, talked metal and music and had a few beers, then walked back home.

Day 7, L.A. Paul and Stephen are sick. They sound like lepers begging for the sweet release of death. It’s ridiculous. But we’re having fun. We stopped at this hookah place, and it was the closest thing to an opium den I think we could ever handle. Also, don’t ever eat at Del Taco. Especially not twice in one day. You will end up shitting in front of Disneyland, I swear.

Day 8, San Francisco. We just went to a surprise birthday party in San Fran. Weird, because we didn’t even know the guy. Mike passed out. Andrew humped a keg. Remember, folks: Always leave a good impression.

Day 9, San Francisco. Paul is not sick. Stephen is still sick. Screw that, though. We went to a studio today to record “Digital Love” for a compilation by Reapandsow and Sideways Media. This place was groovy, to say the least. The engineer was literally Chong’s doppelganger, but way, way, way cooler. I swear, dude. The guys loved us so much they bought our merch, then bought us margaritas consisting of a pint glass with 3/4 tequila and 1/4 margarita stuffs. Later: first tour fight, but we were drunk, so whatever. What was that about? (It was about who likes San Francisco more.)

Day 10, San Francisco. Dude... Those redwoods are the tallest anythings we’ve ever seen, ever. Gives you a weird “deep” perspective on your own life... or whatever. It’s amazing to come from the swamp, drive halfway across the country through the desert, through the mountains and end up in one of the oldest forests in the world. These brutes were so tall that the droplets of water gently falling off each pine needle felt like a punch in the eye socket. We often found ourselves staring upward in amazement for such long periods of time we were practically begging to get cold cocked by Mother Nature. P.S. Did you know that the Golden Gate Bridge has the highest suicide rate in America? Huh...

Day 11, Santa Barbara. Beer Dive: A racing drinking game in which the players throw cans of cheap beer (e.g. Keystone Light) into a swimming pool when it’s forty degrees out. The players leap into the pool in search of said beer, “chug” a can, do a lap, swim to a second can and take it out of the pool. The players then chug that beer in the cold as fast as possible before leaping back into the pool in search of a third beer. Once you find it you do a lap and then swim to the hot tub, climb in and drink that one. The winner gets to shout about how much more manly he is than the other players.

Day 12. GET OUT OF MY HEAD LADY GAGA!!!

Day 13, New Mexico. Desert, cactus, desert, mountains, cactus, mountains, desert, SNOW, mountains, BLIZZARD, mesa, fog, snow, desert. I haven’t seen this much snow since Scarface. Oh my God, why is it so cold in New Mexico? I’ll tell you what: People in Albuquerque are really nice. Thanks for the beds and Zombieland.

Day 14, Denton. WTF! I-40 was closed for blizzards, so we had to take an eight-hour detour. Good job, Snow Miser. GOD, we’re all sick of driving. Getting out of the car and walking into Hailey’s in Denton was one of the best feelings ever. The venue was awesome. The stage was big. The P.A. was loud. They had awesome beers on tap. I ran into two people I went to elementary school with. We played an awesome show, Backside Pick was awesome, Oso Closo was awesome. The crowd was huge. It was a wig-themed show, so everyone wore wigs. We got drunk. We ate Whataburger afterward. Stephen’s cousin, Kaleo from Spooky Folk, let us sleep on his floor. He has cats, so the floor smelled like cat. piss. Cat piss. Cat Piss. CAT PISS!

Day 15, Houston. Almost there, and we almost hate each other. :) Mike talked to some radio about something or whatever. Why are Houston’s roads so big? Let me tell you that Westheimer is the place to hang and Smiley with a Knife is perfect company.

Day 16, Lafayette. The last show!!! LET’S BREAK EVERYTHING!!! DAY 17, Home. Time to sleep and shower. I HATE YOU GUYS! I LOVE YOU
GUYS! DON’T CALL ME FOR A WEEK.

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Thansks AG!